Sometimes I just want to get lost for a moment; but then I remember I can’t ditch chances one last time- we all get better than this.
Posts Tagged With: laugh
Who told you it would be easy? Nothing’s left in this fast-paced world for you to hold on; but because you believe that there’s something else to hope for, it becomes harder for you to just let go.
What is in my mind right now? A lot of things. A thousand or millions of thoughts that eventually filled up the space of my being, enough to make me feel so full of flattering emotions and uncertain feelings. I couldn’t blame the rainy weather today. I couldn’t blame the suspension of classes. I couldn’t blame the moist air. I couldn’t blame the nostalgic view in the window. I couldn’t blame the deafening silence. I couldn’t find anything to blame for why I am this way.
I don’t think I was born exactly the person that I am today. Perhaps the time, experiences, and people’s influences have been contributing to the kind of human that I have become but I’m definitely not so sure how they changed me. Have I really changed? Here I go again with my philosophical questions, trying so hard to answer the inquiries that I know will never suffice. Questions welcome another questions for answers are just merely objects that are supposed to make me feel safe, unmoved, and at peace for a moment. The truth is, I never felt enough.
How do you see me as an individual in that photo? Your perception might be different as mine but I don’t care, really. What matters is that you actually paid attention to it at some point.
Free, empowered, and brave- these may be enough for me to step into real wild world. I feel like I am capable of surviving. I feel like I can conquer whatever struggle it is that will block my path. Well, at least, I have the feels. Although we all know that a man can be invincible but no man can defy imperfection, I still believe that if one spends his/her own life as the power to fight, this man is definitely immortal. The man can die but the flashes of its dynamism will never falter.
Oh good heavens, where did I find the guts to type these words that can eventually lead its readers to confusion? Because it is only through deep words that I can express the slightest closeness of my true sentiments to what I really meant.
There are times that I actually want to cry things out but no tear comes out of my eyes. It crushes me inside. I dare to smile to distract myself from entertaining insanity. There are times that I actually want to give up my only hopes but my dreams won’t accept my proposal. It brings out the guilt out of me. I dare to continue my plans or reinvent if possible. There are times that I actually want to just shut my brain from thinking but as before I can fully close my mind, there’s this little voice inside my head that disintegrates every single drop of doubt. It wakes me up each time I nearly sink my soul into a nightmare of failures. I dare to get up and fall even more madly even at the most futile ideas which only myself knows can keep me moving. Everything, to me, is paradoxical. What kills me makes me realize that I actually have a life to live, with that burning passion in my heart.
Do you get it, somehow? That a person’s struggles are truly the ones that aid to fulfill one’s goals. If we never had the struggle, wouldn’t you think we’d be able to appreciate the details of triumph and victory? I reflect. Please take note that I am trying if not for myself, then maybe for the ones I love the most.
Now the bottom line is what is so special in this life that I can be able to endure all these mind-boggling, soul-draining, heart-drifting challenges? If you can’t imagine myself saying these lines, try to incorporate them to yourself. What is it that pushes you to go on, amid the doldrums or even amid the monstrous storms? Is it your money, your gadgets, your foods, your books, your accessories, your clothes, your mansion, your car? How hypocrite we are, then.
As for me, what urge me to stay are reasons, I expect, only myself can understand. Will you believe me if I tell you I hold on because of the world itself? Philantrophic, isn’t it? Honestly, I am not the best person to promise things that are purely for the sake of others. I am giving it a try because I guess this is what makes me feel worthy to carry on, to share with you the air we breathe, to share with you the shades of sky, to share with you the rhythm, to share with you the company, to share with you the boundless treasures on earth. I’ll never tell these things to you. Laugh at me, it’s fine; but I’ll really never tell these because I want them done rather than chanted.
A Cradle for Vision Fuels the Tank on Mission is the title of my post mainly because I have a very large home that exists as spot on the universe that I can embrace as a cradle for the fruits of all our sacrifices, and the tank simply symbolizes ourselves. What substance do you want it contains? For me, I want it love. If I hated all of you, then I wouldn’t spare a moment of my existence trying to figure out what it means to be alive- what it takes to live for myself and what it takes to live for the significant creations that inspire me to look at things with wonder.
Could I ever make things happen? I can never fail this, so I must.
In memory of the noble Shirley Temple. (This post is not all about her but I find it as a way to put some touch of her quotable line into an account that I’m going to share this time.)
There’s nothing like real love. Nothing.
Based on the paper that is written by a professional degree holder I’ve read about De-Psychologization of Love, here comes Alain Badiou’s Conditions in a Philosophy course, quoted in the first page: “The relative poverty of all that philosophers have said about love, I am convinced of that, is because they have tried to explain it through either psychology or theory of passions”. – wherein it takes a lot of time and effort to catch a glimpse of how love is defined in one of the most critical sense. True love, I’ve learned is not: 1.
Classical which separates two persons from being a compensation of one another. 2. Romantic which is centered on one’s self trying to dominate the other person. 3. Child birth being the primary motivation disguised as Eroticism which devaluates the meaning of family emergence.
What captures the truth in love is by being ‘Two’. Love is built from the differences where a man and a woman find each other… Love is nothing other than an exacting series of enquiries into the disjunction, into the Two.
Disregard all these texts starting from “Based on the paper…” until “… into the Two” because for now, I do not use it as a point of view.
To my one and only Dear Family,
Everything I do, I do it for you.
Lolo and Lola. Do you have an idea of how much you give me strength? Perhaps I also cannot measure but I can feel it whenever I struggle against the raging storms that scare me. I manage to pass through darkness because I know that the light I can gather will brighten up your days.
Dad and Mom. Do you have an idea of how much you keep me going? Perhaps I also cannot measure but I can feel it whenever I skirmish getting up from stumbling. I handle myself to overcome the fears that might obstruct my vision of you being proud of me.
Tita. Do you have an idea of how much you trigger me to be hopeful? Perhaps I also cannot measure but I can feel it whenever I stay still spite of rejections. I stand across the whirling winds and ‘carry on’ for I don’t want you to see me weak, for I don’t want you to sense it.
Ivan, Romson, Angel. Do you have an idea of how you motivate your Ate? Perhaps I also cannot measure but I can feel it whenever I wake up and say ‘never quit’. I used to seem tough to sustain each stride I take today because it is my gift for you to experience a better life tomorrow.
I hope you all understand that there is some point in our life when I have to be apart from you, the people who matter to me the most; but that does not make me love you any less. I don’t always want to show you a vulnerable side of me because I don’t want to share this pain that I endure right now. It feels so sad to be alone but I never tell you. I never tell you I cry every night; instead, I answer your calls with a laugh. I don’t usually tell you I am tired, and sleepy, and hungry; instead, I tell you I’ll take a rest later. I cannot tell you that I failed a quiz; instead, I spend more hours to review my notes. I will not explain to you how hardly it takes me to get my tasks done; instead, I let you think I enjoyed them. I may not describe you how frightening it is for me to face some situations; instead, I go to church and pray. Those are the things I do everyday to take your worries away.
Let us believe that our sacrifices are making sense little by little. ‘Be the good girl I always have to be’ is the line that flashes towards me. God is with us facing the trials. He doesn’t just make them lighter loads for us, but He joins us against all odds. I ask Him, not of any amount, not of any gadget, not of any boyfriend. I ask Him to tell you that I temporarily miss you. I ask Him to show you how much I Love You. I ask Him to guide us as He never failed to stay with us in good times and in bad times. I ask Him health and safety that we may all continue living our lives to the fullest. I have yet to show you how grateful I am to nurture this kind of love inside of me- the world of no condition and of no hesitation that I will forever prove you… that each of the member of the family I belong to… plays a role of significance in performing a legendary story on this stage of nothing but perfect fantasies fused into reality.
The day will come when financial concerns won’t bother you anymore; when the house of your dream becomes our home; when old furniture will be replaced with ideal ones; when we can be supplied completely by material things we both need and want; when working is no more an obligation for I must pay you with comfort; when we may be able to help other people, too, in their circumstances and help raise themselves the way we strive for ours. Amid all these, we shall never cease to praise our glorious God.
Someday, dear family, we can live happily… ever after. I offer to you a love that stays forever.
This depicts not a clichѐ, but an intensity of a person’s feelings towards reality. I say so because I can see myself through her.
Sometimes, it’s okay not to be okay. I do not show myself crying to other people as long as I can endure not because I’m scared that they might judge me, but because I don’t want them to feel the pain. I don’t want them to worry. Everything will be alright without them getting hurt. I am not a great pretender but I can sacrifice myself for the people I truly love- without compromising my principles in life.
Perhaps it’s not easy for me to show my emotions, live. I often express them through writing (this blog is an example); but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ll always keep my mouth shut. Well, I admit that it’s really better to keep my mouth shut if what I’m going to say makes no sense at all. I can also be vocal… and when I do, it’s when I’m with the people wherein I know my thoughts would be worth sharing to.
I may be too goal-oriented that it seems so robotic. I may be too hard that it seems so hopeless romantic. I may be too much of a dreamer that it seems so unimaginative. Just don’t forget. Hey, we inhale the same type of air. We both have heartbeats. I excrete the same wastes as you do. I fall in love and I get hurt, too. I feel inspired and I can be tired. I smile and even laugh as you can see… though when I start to frown, please leave it all to me.
Absolutely, we live on the same planet. Does that make somebody any less? Given with all the worst and the best, I’m still human after all.
Perhaps the feeling is inexplicable that words can’t exactly describe how much I’ve gotten inside. I am smiling. I am laughing. I keep calm but how much of it is true? Out of a hundred percent, I cannot say.
– for the declaration of Holiday.
– for your greetings; be it on facebook, twitter, or text.
– for the foods.
– for the colorful posts in my room.
– for the “me” day.
– for the gift of life.
The list has no boundaries. I know that this is not enough to show how grateful I am but I still continue anyway. I will continue praising the Lord for all these blessings. Thanks to each and everyone of you. My heart has spaces to give the love that’s true ♡
These are recent photos of me. Two of my boundless number of ‘selfies’.
It’s time to realize that my comfort zone is not an area where I can stay forever (though the pictures aren’t necessarily correlated with my sudden realization). I’ve gotten Two. Nights. Left. living my 536458931st second. And after that, I’d have another year to rock on.
Usual quote: Live. Laugh. Love.
The 3 Idiots! There they go again. Watching them a myriad times still brings me the same emotions such as alternately laughing then crying then being so joyful- that it’s too hard to keep one’s sanity. I was actually going through some tough days of my life being on college and one of my stress-reliever is watching movies. It’s not a mistake to choose this one for the afternoon break. This is truly amazing and a provider of lifelong lessons perhaps the humor is just the bonus chunk.
The first one says, “Life is a race, Run fast or you’ll get trampled”; but “Don’t chase success, chase excellence and success will follow”, claims the another. What really matters? Finding it out is the challenge therein.
“You should dump your fears or you’ll regret it on your deathbed.”
All Izz Well… All Izz Well.