Posts Tagged With: mind

A Game of Juggling

Through a student’s perspectival world…

If you were to pick one to let go: between social life, good grades, and sleep- what would it rather be?

It’s quite hard to choose. At first, I’d tell you I am willing to let go of sleep for a cup of coffee and a bite of apple can attest to that; but honestly, whenever I get back to bed, it feels like a promising forever.

Perhaps I swear to God, I am never letting go of my good grades! Oh mighty heavens. Shall it be the moment of truth? A moment that tells me to pick my social life and throw it… to far, far away. I can’t. Now that it gives me the enjoyment of a company and the achievement of a particular goal, more than a chunk of academics, I can finally taste the sweetness of defeat and the spice of fulfillment.

Look, I understand if nobody cannot really understand what I am saying right now. My mind is so full. So do my soul.

My point is, who really cares of what we are going to choose among these three significant aspects of our lives? Does anybody even show some concern unto you deciding what’s right? Is there something that is really right? How can you distinguish? As for me, as long as I know I love what I’m doing, I cannot go wrong. It might be different from the views of others, but this is me and I’d hate not to stand by it.

I choose good grades. I dare to socialize. I can’t truly abandon sleep. Only if I can juggle them all too well, then I don’t have to worry insanity and stuffs. The thing is, I am far beyond the master of this game which life has been offering me. Ask me, I play. I can’t guarantee you that I will ace this battle; but remember that as much as my chances of losing this, is the amount of opportunities that I can actually win.

Sure win. Just with the fact that I learn while I explore and discover the tricky things, I am telling you guys I’m going home a victor. I’m taking home the bacon. Hail me as champion for I played a game I haven’t been familiar with; yet I tried. I succeed.

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Categories: Daily Post, Part of Me, Reflection | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Embracing Adversity; So it will soon let go of me.

I know I’ve been hating myself for this

But it won’t last I promise

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Red and green lights on the street

Creates the shadow out of me

Walk fast through the noise and heat

Take the route I cannot see

 

Slow down, stop, then go

Discover paths I did not know

Not too certain where it leads

Aim, still, what it needs

 

Nobody reads what’s inside

If I am scared or naive or tensed

Alive or have somehow died

Sincerity for me bears sense

 

When the day just started

As early as the visit of Dr. Exhausted

It all goes weird I’m tired of toil

Subtle swallowing of soil

 

I am born this way so sweetly

But why does it taste so bitter

That I am not the person I want to be

Higher, farther, more, and better

 

Jammed on a traffic

Freedom I seek

Let go, when is the time

Sooner as it leaves the rhyme

 

Now do I even feel

Like I soar above

Or sink beneath

The doldrums of stability

 

Nothing farther

Nothing new

Confined myself, encapsulated

Stuck on the edge

 

Dusk, go home where it embraces me

Dawn, for another hope

Each day I learn

That I do not change in a blink of an eye

 

Fall asleep and wake up

With such spark of madness

And make it glow

No matter what it takes

 

If I truly love a thing

Fight for it, a must

Bring out the rhyme and rhythm

Not because I am comfortable with it

 

Perhaps it weakens me

At this spot

But it is also within

Where I will gain

 

My strength in any adverse state of mind.

 

Categories: Part of Me, Poetry, Reflection | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Cradle for Vision Fuels the Tank on Mission

Who told you it would be easy? Nothing’s left in this fast-paced world for you to hold on; but because you believe that there’s something else to hope for, it becomes harder for you to just let go.

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What is in my mind right now? A lot of things. A thousand or millions of thoughts that eventually filled up the space of my being, enough to make me feel so full of flattering emotions and uncertain feelings. I couldn’t blame the rainy weather today. I couldn’t blame the suspension of classes. I couldn’t blame the moist air. I couldn’t blame the nostalgic view in the window. I couldn’t blame the deafening silence. I couldn’t find anything to blame for why I am this way.

I don’t think I was born exactly the person that I am today. Perhaps the time, experiences, and people’s influences have been contributing to the kind of human that I have become but I’m definitely not so sure how they changed me. Have I really changed? Here I go again with my philosophical questions, trying so hard to answer the inquiries that I know will never suffice. Questions welcome another questions for answers are just merely objects that are supposed to make me feel safe, unmoved, and at peace for a moment. The truth is, I never felt enough.

How do you see me as an individual in that photo? Your perception might be different as mine but I don’t care, really. What matters is that you actually paid attention to it at some point.

Free, empowered, and brave- these may be enough for me to step into real wild world. I feel like I am capable of surviving. I feel like I can conquer whatever struggle it is that will block my path. Well, at least, I have the feels. Although we all know that a man can be invincible but no man can defy imperfection, I still believe that if one spends his/her own life as the power to fight, this man is definitely immortal. The man can die but the flashes of its dynamism will never falter.

Oh good heavens, where did I find the guts to type these words that can eventually lead its readers to confusion? Because it is only through deep words that I can express the slightest closeness of my true sentiments to what I really meant.

There are times that I actually want to cry things out but no tear comes out of my eyes. It crushes me inside. I dare to smile to distract myself from entertaining insanity. There are times that I actually want to give up my only hopes but my dreams won’t accept my proposal. It brings out the guilt out of me. I dare to continue my plans or reinvent if possible. There are times that I actually want to just shut my brain from thinking but as before I can fully close my mind, there’s this little voice inside my head that disintegrates every single drop of doubt. It wakes me up each time I nearly sink my soul into a nightmare of failures. I dare to get up and fall even more madly even at the most futile ideas which only myself knows can keep me moving. Everything, to me, is paradoxical. What kills me makes me realize that I actually have a life to live, with that burning passion in my heart.

Do you get it, somehow? That a person’s struggles are truly the ones that aid to fulfill one’s goals. If we never had the struggle, wouldn’t you think we’d be able to appreciate the details of triumph and victory? I reflect. Please take note that I am trying if not for myself, then maybe for the ones I love the most.

Now the bottom line is what is so special in this life that I can be able to endure all these mind-boggling, soul-draining, heart-drifting challenges? If you can’t imagine myself saying these lines, try to incorporate them to yourself. What is it that pushes you to go on, amid the doldrums or even amid the monstrous storms? Is it your money, your gadgets, your foods, your books, your accessories, your clothes, your mansion, your car? How hypocrite we are, then.

As for me, what urge me to stay are reasons, I expect, only myself can understand. Will you believe me if I tell you I hold on because of the world itself? Philantrophic, isn’t it? Honestly, I am not the best person to promise things that are purely for the sake of others. I am giving it a try because I guess this is what makes me feel worthy to carry on, to share with you the air we breathe, to share with you the shades of sky, to share with you the rhythm, to share with you the company, to share with you the boundless treasures on earth. I’ll never tell these things to you. Laugh at me, it’s fine; but I’ll really never tell these because I want them done rather than chanted.

A Cradle for Vision Fuels the Tank on Mission is the title of my post mainly because I have a very large home that exists as spot on the universe that I can embrace as a cradle for the fruits of all our sacrifices, and the tank simply symbolizes ourselves. What substance do you want it contains? For me, I want it love. If I hated all of you, then I wouldn’t spare a moment of my existence trying to figure out what it means to be alive- what it takes to live for myself and what it takes to live for the significant creations that inspire me to look at things with wonder.

Could I ever make things happen? I can never fail this, so I must.

Categories: Inspire, Part of Me, Reflection | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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