Posts Tagged With: wonder

Abundance of Pressure When Altitude is Too High

Tonight, as usual, I’m working on requirements for school (reports, reviews, etc.). Setting aside the household chores, there’s this thing that keeps on bugging me. Every time I ask myself why I keep on trying to comply with all these stuffs without the assurance that I can get back what I really wanted to receive.

Grades. Yes, you read it right. I’m not that typical GC you might dare to call. I’m not too much of a grade conscious student. I don’t actually get depressed with grades that are being given to me; well, not as how anybody out there would rant about their miseries and curse their life to death just because he/she receives grades that he/she didn’t expect. I’m not the type of person who would give up expecting and let go of optimistic hopes for a long period of time. I might get frustrated for a while but that doesn’t make me quit searching for answers, striving for advancements, and looking forward for possibilities that might lead my path.

What’s in my mind right now is not surprisingly a huge ball of thoughts that keeps on spinning round and round… keeps on getting even bigger as time passes by… keeps on inquiring my being: Where am I? Until I come across this quotation He didn’t bring you this far to leave you. That’s probable. The Almighty Creator wouldn’t give me something I can’t handle and I trust Him for that. I trust in Him that each time I feel like putting an end into these hardships, there’s a voice inside of me that insists on telling me I got this. Of all the sacrifices I’ve had, the nights of sleep and days of comfort I’ve surrendered, the family I’ve missed, the friends I’ve separated from, the home I’ve rebuilt, and a lot more reasons which have pushed me to where I am now- constitutes the verity of my existence: proof that I am not going to take no for an answer.

I’ve reached this far, this high, and this vastness not to ditch the chances. I feel alone, incomplete, insufficient, ineffective; but these are just temporary associations from stress that emerging survival has offered me. I am pressured because I tend to always compare the goodness I attained yesterday to how great I am doing today. Thus, exerting more effort is necessary for me to supposedly excel and achieve self-transcendence through the days ahead. I am pressured because I tend to assume that I am good but it’s not enough for me to settle for less. I am pressured because I am supposed to be better than the person I had become.

Pressure that is brought about by the unlimited height of assumptions. Perhaps I can do more. Perhaps I can hurt less. Perhaps I can smile more and frown less. Perhaps I can sustain the endurance of pain. Perhaps I can stay strong and never let go of the things that matter the most.

There could be anything higher than the top. What then? Nothing but the fruits of one’s struggles to surpass himself/herself. Struggles to cope up with the pressure while he/she is at the peak of everything else he/she might ever wonder of… because at the end of the day, nothing else matters. Believe me or not. Nothing else but that grateful feeling that one has surpassed himself/ herself… realizing that circumstances vary and that we simply outgrow ourselves.

Without pressure, I wouldn’t get hard. Hard to beat.

Categories: Part of Me | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Myself Choose the Meaning They Have

Jean- Paul Sartre’s claims on Existentialism appear to me as evident proofs inhabiting such ideas that can make certain people believe about the knowledge on existence; yet it still bothers me that it somehow opposes what I’ve believed since I acquire the consciousness of confirming what is true for me. I remember the line Not that we believe that God does not exist, but we think that the problem of his existence is not the issue– definitely, this sounds agnostic but that doesn’t keep me from reading. It actually makes me think deeper and hold on to every argument that is thrown, without losing my faith and sense of wonder.

There are two standpoints presented: Christianity and Positivism- whereas both conclude something that is different from Sartre’s assertion. Christianity says that ‘Man has been created in the image of God’ supported by the statements ‘Man is nothing by himself; he owes everything to his Creator’ and ‘Man has special status before all other creatures’. This is countered by Sartre, saying that ‘Human being is the supreme and sovereign reality; there’s no pre-determined essence and he makes himself freely through his activities’. Positivism says that ‘Man is an end itself, a supreme value’ which establishes that ‘life is continuous and earnest act of worship’. This is countered by Sartre, saying that ‘Man, is by nature free, and still to be determined’.

Given the polarity of views, I honestly feel like floating due to the strength of their convictions; but it has not caused my own beliefs to falter. For humanism, man is real and there’s nothing above him that no reality can be any higher. From an existentialist point of view, man is never to be taken as an end for he is still to be figured out. Man is who gives rise to his own values. What makes him exist is the mere fact that he is self-surpassing; wherein he is free outside of himself to project, to lose, to pursue transcendence, and be the heart of it. In this perspective, the universe is full of human subjectivity, total freedom and inevitable responsibility. Perhaps absolute individualism is what it tells that matters, individual and social aspects must be weighed in and get accommodated.

Humans always aim for the better. Nothing can be better for him unless it is better for all. We are supposedly conscientious individuals that as we discover ourselves is the moment we also discover others. Are there any choices left with us? Terms are easily defined but they get complicated in the process. Thus, what makes man a universal concept? The decision is within us. We are condemned to be free. Consume our lives constructively.

Isn’t it that Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself? Thus, I stand still. Existentialism, humanism, positivism, Christianity- I myself choose the meaning they have.

Categories: Reflection | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dare to Exist

The world is dynamic. Its essence is life that is full of vitality, full of wonder, full of energizing elements constituting the verity of our very own existence. Perhaps one might deem the creation itself as problematic due to some uncertainties. Then, how are we supposed to understand things? Do we need to allot rigorous researches in order to support our claims? Can the contextualization of our experiences and conditions be served as evidences only to prove that we aren’t deceived by our beliefs? Of course we tend to speak and stand up for what we think is true… while others tend to tell lies in order to protect themselves from judgments.

As human beings, we are presented the choices. We are given the chance to decide for our own. The result depends upon the basis of analysis that we have considered to look through. What makes sense doesn’t always get picked. Sometimes, what humans yearn for are ignorant derivations from shallowness, leaving the actual necessity that is to be executed within a process.

Understanding does not primarily mean just gazing at the meaning, says one of the excerpts from a line among the texts. It simply states that “to understand” suggests that we take into consideration the holistic value of others and the associations of one another. It then implies that we shall not only judge according to what our eyes can merely see or what our ears can merely hear. We have to examine things beneath circumstances, beneath perspectives. We listen no matter how inaudible the rational noise is, no matter how soft it whispers.

Knowing grasps reality- that is knowledge. For without knowledge, no fair justice might be administered. Without knowledge, we let go of the opportunities that we once deserved. Without knowledge, we get caught by the dogmatic persistence that is not even from our own way of comprehension. We eventually lose ourselves, at least in that case.

“Being-there”, “in-one-another-ness”, “Being-alongside”, authenticity or inauthenticity, and “potentiality-for-Being” are some of the most striking words to symbolize an entity termed as Dasein wherein existential conditions are attended. Here comes the fortification of possibilities, the anticipation of what can be put into actualization. Its significance doesn’t only lie amongst the description of one character, but throughout the world. It somehow signifies the entirety of the components of the world- self, others, and the linkages that bond the interaction, discoveries, exploration, and a lot more variations that create interconnectedness between them.

The bottom line is, it doesn’t matter whether or not which is true and which is false according to what a person thinks over your own awareness. What truly brings you to the peak of knowledge is knowing what would you actually fight for, what you believe makes sense, what you believe is worth the wait, what you believe could possibly exist, without the fear of failures.

A thought piece, for example, dares to exist… fail now, try again. Nobody is certain.

Categories: Reflection | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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